I Surrender All

There was a song we sang in church : I Surrender All
All to Jesus I surrender,humbly at His feet I bow. Worldly pleasures, all forsaken, Take me Jesus, take me now.
All to Jesus I surrender, Make me Savior, wholly Thine -- May Thy Holy Spirit fill me, May I know thy power divine.
I surrender All ! I surrender All! All to Thee my blessed Savior, I surrender all.
It has taken on new meaning to me lately. --- The very thought of surrendering is something I have understood in different ways -- I remember there was a time I thought of surrender as going against my own will to give up something I wanted to hold onto. Surrender or else...but I would not
Then I think there was a time when surrender just happened to me. Like I couldn't do anything else BUT surrender -- "When you aint got nothing, you got nothing to lose..." You might as well surrender... but I could not always give in -- especially when I got a glimmer of control back.

Lately, I am beginning to see that surrender is the leaning back, the trusting act, the giving in the way you might give into an ocean wave -- and let it carry you along.
I am surprised when people want to fight that Spirit that carries them along instead of letting it happen...believing that the Spirit is malevolent, perhaps -- or careless or absent? I am surprised that we creatures on earth are so certain that we know better than the Creator Himself where and how we should be. We are so in love with the idea that we can control the outcome -- God seems to give us the room to make mistake after mistake until we finally get to the point where we relax, and give in and surrender at last to His perfect plan.

You would think people in jail would be able to surrender more easily than those on the outside, but what I see is that people will do ANYTHING to keep a MODICUM of control in their hands. It is almost more difficult -- after you have given up almost everything to give that last little bit.

A woman I am working with was found making "hooch" in her jail cell from fermented fruit.
She explained that she just needed that one thing under her control -- never mind that it was the very thing that was slowly killing her soul, ruining her life, making her children spend Christmas with strangers.

God give us the ability to trust that You are good, that You are love us more than we love ourselves, and that if we give it all up to You -- things beyond our wildest imagininations -- more than we could ask for or think of will be given to us.

Grieving and Giving Thanks from Jail

Here is an excerpt from a man in jail:

I was shocked to hear that my wife of 16 years had passed. It caused me to somewhat shut-down. I had something to deal with each day for a week while grieving. One day was deaing with a judge in the county where she died. Another day was getting the power of attorney paperwork done so my brother in law could claim the remains. Yet another day I had to sign the authorization for creamation. I was denied access to the memorial service by the powers that be.

That day I spent in my bunk, isolated, arguing with God. I only got up for one meal at 5:30 PM. that night, God sent an unusual messenger to me. A man we call "Cuba" come to me and shook me. He asked me if I was going to call our prayer circle together. I was just going to skip it that night. Cuba had just started coming at that point, so for him to come and ask showed me God sent him! I called the circle together and confessed my anger to god for not letting me go to the service. We had a good circle that night and the guys had some kind of comforting words for me. The Lord showed me the error of my ways and I slept well that night aftter a nice, long meditation of thanksgiving and repentance.

The common message through that dark time was being able to be thankful in a time filled with turmoil. I told the Lord I was thankful for the 16 years he gave us and the good memories. I also thanked him for the men I'm housed with. They are Spirit-filled men who truly care. I couldn't ask for a better group of guys to be around, for being in prison!

It's truly a blessing. I'm proud to say the Lord leads me to guide them each night. There are two of us who bring a Scripture and small message each night but mainly me. He took over during my grieving time, thankfully.

God is doing some good work in this dorm and I am honored to be used by Him!

Bibles For Kids

Last night we served communion to the women in the jail. What a glorious time for us all. Recently, a friend told me that when he instructs others in the Truth, that Truth just spills out over everyone around, including himself. Last night God's truth was spilling out on us all -- the Pastor, me, and the six women there who were being transformed.

Transformation happens in increments and any one of us would be hard pressed to say when or how, but we know, like when we look in pictures of ourselves from a few years back, that we have changed. Spiritually, we change when we expose ourselves to the Truth -- whether through a book or a person or a moment in prison when we just surrender to the Holy Presence all around us and get just a little more light in our understanding.

Last night, we all changed a little.

At some point during the service, a man in a red baseball cap poked his head in and reminded the women to write something "from the heart" into their Kids Bibles. Every year this man comes in and brings boxes of Bibles for kids. He gives them to the women and men to give to their children. He encourages them to write messages in the Bibles, "something from the heart" that the child will have for many years to come.

"The harvest is plenty," the man told me at the door as I was leaving later in the night. "The workers are few."

I don't know that man, and even though we live in a small town, he doesn't know me either. We are workers for Christ behind the scenes. It is exciting to me to think of the Spirits of God out there, doing His work behind the scenes. Someday when it is all revealed, and we see how many of us there are out there, doing His work -- Jesus! What a surprise we're going to get.

Elijah thought he was the only one. But God had a surprise for him. If you are growing weary of doing good work, just take a moment and consider how many others are there with you.

Baptism in Jail

It's days like this that make it all worth while -- the buckets are piled high for the preacher's Bible -- the men are standing against the wall, watching a brother be baptized in a horse trough loaned by the local Southern States store. There is an electricity in the air you don't feel at church on Sunday mornings. Satan knows when these brothers go down and are resurrected that they are his worst nightmare. Nothing compares to this when you are working for God -- to see his children come to light, out of the darkness, the real stuff and not that made up feeling you are trying to conjure from your comfy pew seat. Lord, forgive us for being so comfortable!

Light of the World

Then Jesus spoke to them again, saying, "I am the light of the world. He who follows Me shall not walk in darkness, but have the light of life." John, Chapter 8 verse 12