What do You Mean I'm Perfect?

It's hard enough when you're "doing well" to believe that you are Perfect in Christ, but imagine wrestling with that concept wearing a bright orange jumper, behind bars.

"Perfect?" they ask me. "What do you mean I'm perfect?" "You don't know what I've done."

No, I don't know what you've done, but I know what I've done, and God knows what I have done. He has seen every ugly thing. He has heard every damning word out of my mouth and floating around in my mind. And yet, He says I am perfect.

"How can we be perfect and still sin?"

I let the question linger in the air. "It can't be."
"But it is"
"Then Christ must have bad thoughts -- "
"No, that's not possible"

"So we must have...like two minds...living in the same body?
"Exactly."

We are Perfect in God's eyes as He looks at us as One with Him, through the blood of His Son who redeemed us through His sacrifice.

We are also flesh. Carnal. Wilted. At risk. Borderline. Unhealthy. Criminal. Selfish. Weak.

Which one do we strengthen? Which one do we feed?

"I'm afraid to leave here, " says one woman. " How will I have the strength I need on the outside?"

"We have only a few choices in here, " says another..."Do you eat the food or not? We don't have to decide if we go to the store, or take out, or cook what we've got, or warm leftovers. We don't have those choices in here. Choices is what makes things so difficult."

God's wisdom is pouring out of them.

"Habits. Choices. This is the background upon which our sanctification plays out," I tell them.

It's time to go. The guard turns the key in the door. We'll have to wait for next week to have the chance to talk this out again.

The Way We Talk

Let all bitterness and wrath and anger and clamor and slander be put away from you, along with all malice and be kind to one another, tender hearted, forgiving each other, just as God, in Christ, forgave you.

We remind each other of these verses before we begin our meetings. In Ephesians, we get a whole great list of things to remember, in or out of jail, about how to talk with others.

"But we're in JAIL..." there's no way that this is going to happen.

Granted, it's a difficult situation. It's loud and full of emotion, some women are even sleeping on the floor. Funding is low and the place is inadequately staffed. It's dirty and crazy and full of profane language, but Paul and Silas sang in prison, and I told them they could too.

Yeah, what do you understand? I know that's what they want to say to me...

We begin to pray and the power of God's Spirit falls on us all. Prayers for children, prayers for lovers, family, grieving parents on the outside...and then the prayers of strength.

"Help me to stand up for You, Lord."
"Give me the words to say, Lord,"
"Put your armor on me, God."
"Enable me to do this for You..."

There is hope in their words. Suddenly they perceive what they are saying, and the prayers get bolder,

"I will stand for you, Lord,"
"No matter what it takes,"
"No matter what they do..."

To be persecuted for doing what is right -- for doing God's work in the jail -- that's what these men and women are up against.

Pray for them right now, right here with me. Every man and woman behind bars who has come to understand who You are, God. Enable them. Defend them. Protect them.

Amen.

A Group Like This

Does it seem sad to you that a woman would tell me that she would come back to jail just to have the close fellowship that she experiences in our small group? If she had been able to find such a group outside, maybe she wouldn't be incarcerated. God is doing wonderful work in her life. Changes are happening quickly, and she is yielding herself to God's changing power. She is being transformed by the renewing of her mind.

And some of the renewal is due to the group. We meet as regularly as we can -- barring lack of staff, or Christmas holiday interruptions. We welcome each other and remember the rules: Ephesians 4 and 5, don't speak unkindly to each other, don't war, lift each other up. Don't we have enough people trying to make us think we are not much more than garbage, unworthy of transformation? And we look at God's word -- go through a study -- and we pray for each other. And we are real with each other. It is possible to be real and kind, and we are all learning that. When the truth is spoken, it comes down on all who are present.

"I would come back in here if I could. I want a group like this on the outside."

And there is a group for her on the outside, but it won't be the same. Not everyone will understand, not everyone will experience the same things she is experiencing. She may imagine that they are judging her, and I pray that they will not. We accept lies about ourselves when they are on the tip of our own tongues.

So we remind each other of who we really are in Christ. You are God's child. He is a good God. He wants the best for you. You are His sister. He is the first born of many brothers and sisters.

I pray that she will allow herself to ministered to on the outside, and that she doesn't run to her addiction of choice the minute she gets out. Just one minute. Wait one minute and thank God for His mercy. And then thank Him again. And again. And again until all the NOWS merge into TODAY and ALL WEEK LONG and A YEAR FROM NOW.

Pray for those coming out of jail today that they will be able to maintain the decisions they made for Christ on the inside.

Grieving and Giving Thanks from Jail

Here is an excerpt from a man in jail:

I was shocked to hear that my wife of 16 years had passed. It caused me to somewhat shut-down. I had something to deal with each day for a week while grieving. One day was deaing with a judge in the county where she died. Another day was getting the power of attorney paperwork done so my brother in law could claim the remains. Yet another day I had to sign the authorization for creamation. I was denied access to the memorial service by the powers that be.

That day I spent in my bunk, isolated, arguing with God. I only got up for one meal at 5:30 PM. that night, God sent an unusual messenger to me. A man we call "Cuba" come to me and shook me. He asked me if I was going to call our prayer circle together. I was just going to skip it that night. Cuba had just started coming at that point, so for him to come and ask showed me God sent him! I called the circle together and confessed my anger to god for not letting me go to the service. We had a good circle that night and the guys had some kind of comforting words for me. The Lord showed me the error of my ways and I slept well that night aftter a nice, long meditation of thanksgiving and repentance.

The common message through that dark time was being able to be thankful in a time filled with turmoil. I told the Lord I was thankful for the 16 years he gave us and the good memories. I also thanked him for the men I'm housed with. They are Spirit-filled men who truly care. I couldn't ask for a better group of guys to be around, for being in prison!

It's truly a blessing. I'm proud to say the Lord leads me to guide them each night. There are two of us who bring a Scripture and small message each night but mainly me. He took over during my grieving time, thankfully.

God is doing some good work in this dorm and I am honored to be used by Him!

Bibles For Kids

Last night we served communion to the women in the jail. What a glorious time for us all. Recently, a friend told me that when he instructs others in the Truth, that Truth just spills out over everyone around, including himself. Last night God's truth was spilling out on us all -- the Pastor, me, and the six women there who were being transformed.

Transformation happens in increments and any one of us would be hard pressed to say when or how, but we know, like when we look in pictures of ourselves from a few years back, that we have changed. Spiritually, we change when we expose ourselves to the Truth -- whether through a book or a person or a moment in prison when we just surrender to the Holy Presence all around us and get just a little more light in our understanding.

Last night, we all changed a little.

At some point during the service, a man in a red baseball cap poked his head in and reminded the women to write something "from the heart" into their Kids Bibles. Every year this man comes in and brings boxes of Bibles for kids. He gives them to the women and men to give to their children. He encourages them to write messages in the Bibles, "something from the heart" that the child will have for many years to come.

"The harvest is plenty," the man told me at the door as I was leaving later in the night. "The workers are few."

I don't know that man, and even though we live in a small town, he doesn't know me either. We are workers for Christ behind the scenes. It is exciting to me to think of the Spirits of God out there, doing His work behind the scenes. Someday when it is all revealed, and we see how many of us there are out there, doing His work -- Jesus! What a surprise we're going to get.

Elijah thought he was the only one. But God had a surprise for him. If you are growing weary of doing good work, just take a moment and consider how many others are there with you.

Baptism in Jail

It's days like this that make it all worth while -- the buckets are piled high for the preacher's Bible -- the men are standing against the wall, watching a brother be baptized in a horse trough loaned by the local Southern States store. There is an electricity in the air you don't feel at church on Sunday mornings. Satan knows when these brothers go down and are resurrected that they are his worst nightmare. Nothing compares to this when you are working for God -- to see his children come to light, out of the darkness, the real stuff and not that made up feeling you are trying to conjure from your comfy pew seat. Lord, forgive us for being so comfortable!