Abba? I'm supposed to call God "Abba" Like "Daddy"? Tough women have a hard time with the whole Daddy thing. I have been taking a poll -- based on a theory -- and so far, it comes out just as I expected.
Tough women didn't get on so well with their fathers, if they even had one in the picture.
Sometimes the fathers were abusive -- physically, even sexually. Sometimes they were just critical and distant. Most often, they were absent. I am never surprised when I ask a woman whom I consider "a tough woman" about her father and she just shrugs, gives me that look...and says something like "What father"?
Go ahead and try it. Pick out a woman you think to is one of these "tough women" and ask about her father. The women who are not "tough", who feel a little more comfortable in their woman-ness -- when you ask them about their fathers, they say, "Daddy"? "I love my daddy".
Now this brings up a whole slew of points to make -- many of which I am not qualified to make -- about the psychological impact an absent or critical father has on the self-identity of a girl as she is growing into a woman, or about if you are the father of a little girl, you had better listen up...
But the one point I can make is that this whole Daddy thing messes with a Christian woman's ability to love the Father and to be loved by Him.
The other night, I was reading a passage from the Amplified Bible. It was in John 16, verse 27. Here Jesus was talking to his disciples about His Father as He was preparing them for his (Jesus') leaving. I am paraphrasing somewhat:
I won't need to plead to the Father on your behalf -- Jesus tells them-- you can do it -- Why? Because the Father TENDERLY loves you.
This word "tenderly" doesn't show up in every translation ( I have checked several), but it showed up in the Amplified that night, and it jumped out at me like words of a love letter from someone I didn't even think had noticed me.
The Father TENDERLY loves me! Until that moment, I did not realize how hungry I was to be loved tenderly by my Father, or perhaps by my earthly (absent) father. I guess I had reasoned that Jesus loved me (this I know!) and that the Father loved Jesus, so by association, the Father loved me.
I have been a student of the Bible for over 20 years. I devour Scripture. I loved to study, and memorize and apply Scripture. But I have to say that until that instant, I did not accept the fact that the Father Himself loved me.
You could argue that I haven't read well enough, or studied deeply enough -- or that I should have tried another translation earlier in my walk. But I think I just wasn't ready until recently to accept that truth. Too much baggage. Too many barriers between me and my heavenly Father -- and some of them were not put there by me. They came from generations of fathers who didn't do a good job of assuring their daughters and sons that they would be there for the long haul, to protect, and defend, and to hold tenderly.
I have forgiven my father, and my father's father, and my mother's father -- but it still had an impact on me and my ability to be loved by my heavenly Father.
I have discovered that most tough women can love, but we cannot easily receive it. We can protect and defend like wild cats; we can nurture and feed -- but to receive a tender love just busts you up inside.
No comments:
Post a Comment