Sins of the Past --- Satan's Playbook

According to Scripture, God doesn't remember our sins.  They are as far as the East is from the West.  But apparently, others do...

It is amazing how the sins of the past can hunt you down.  You are living a life free from the worries and complications that used to bind you, and suddenly you open a door or click on an email and POW -- there is the reminder of when you  stood on a shaky foundation and Satan wants to remind you of how badly you behaved -- how many people you hurt along the way.  Even though you know it's Satan working against you,  and even though you know it's an illusion because the past is gone, you ache with remorse and worry that you will never be able to shake these issues.

This happened to me recently.  My late-husband's ex-wife wrote to remind me of how my husband and I  had failed the children we all had in common.  Children who are in their mid-twenties now and are acting out their issues in painful ways.  She is correct. We failed.  We all failed.  We chose the road mostly taken -- self gratification and self-preservation. 

I am deeply sorry for my part in the mess.  I have made amends to my stepsons, and we have good, solid healthy relationships at this point.  I am in their lives to encourage them and to help them however I can.  I pray for them, I love them, and I love the ones they love.  What else can I do at this point?

This woman, however, desires to remind me of my inadequacies and those of my late- husband, who is no longer alive to defend himself.  And I get angry, and I get frustrated, and I lose my peace when I don't want to.

I want to retaliate.  I want to defend.  I want to show my teeth and tear some flesh, and then I am horrified at the reaction. Where is the strength of His joy?  Where is the acknowledgment of Him in all my ways?  How do I let myself become so unsettled, so pulled in to this snare?

What a blatant reminder all of this is to the Daily Surrender: Surrendering past sins and missteps.  Surrendering my penchant for control.  Submitting it -- utterly -- to His Hands, and then putting my own hands to work for something good and constructive.

We have today, right now to make amends.  We cannot wallow in the mistakes of the past -- it is counter-productive.  Once we have brought them to the Light and received forgiveness and healing, we must let them rest.  When they are brought up again, we must surrender them to the control of the One who controls.  To take them back again, like a rotted bone dug up, to gnaw and worry over is playing right into Satan's plan to keep us looking back -- the most exhausting and depleting of human activity.